Being Addicted to Emotional Pain

Nov 15, 2012 by

Being Addicted to Emotional Pain

This is a very funny fact that some women are actually addicted to emotional pain.

I am pretty sure that all of you know or at least knew a woman who had a very abusive boyfriend. She would always talk about her pains and sufferings and how she is being treated like crap all the time.

I have listened to so many sorties like the one above and throughout the whole time there was only one thing that I could say to her which was – “JUST LEAVE HIM”.

Now then, here comes their funny response to that which is always something along the lines of “it is very complicated”.

Of course there are many feelings involved, of course there is a great amount of attachment, and of course you share so many memories and experiences together.

BUT if you have no children together, if you are still not married THEN why in the WORLD would you keep the relationship going if you see it is going absolutely nowhere?

Why would you risk the rest of your life and stay with someone who has barely 1% chance of changing and becoming a better person. Now please don’t tell me “because he is the one”. If he is really “the one” then you have made a very crappy choice and we have a bigger problem than the one we are talking.

Now I am not saying that if you have a simple argument then you should leave the guy that is NOT what I am saying. What I AM saying is if you are constantly getting your feelings hurt then dump the guy.

Some girls are scared of it because their boyfriends are very controlling and dominant but that is not the topic of our discussion. I am talking about about girls who are constantly going back to their old, broken, and painful relationships knowing exactly well that they are going to get hurt again and again and again.

This leaves me with a conclusion that girls who do this are actually addicted to their emotional pain. After doing some research I have actually found that an actual definition exists for these types of situations and it is called emotional masochism.

This is a very interesting phenomenon because the more I have gotten into it the more I have found out that it is not only girls who do this but guys as well. There are many different scenarios where this occurs. For example there are actually guys who only go out with girls that they know will cheat on them.

Morale of this article is this: if you ever meet a person whether a man or a woman who constantly talks about their painful relationship then all you have to do is either make up an excuse to leave or just sit through it. Giving them advice is not going to help and they will most probably not even hear you. What they want is to get hurt and then share their pain. That’s all!

Stay tuned for more articles folks :)

  • GEO

    Haha a big laugh on my face while i was reading this, unfortunately it is very true, but in defense to a woman i would like to say that when a women share their problems they think most of them are solved already just by sharing. :)

    • http://innovatonic.com InnovaTonic

      hahaha right on point :)

  • http://twitter.com/MotleyRose1 Motley Rose

    There is another explanation here that I feel the need to share, because I used to be in an abusive relationship.
    An abusive relationship usually involves two very dysfunctional people. The abuser, and the abused. Both people play very distinct and predictable roles, and both people subconsciously seek out people with the same kind of traits. These are learned behaviors, usually learned while within a family unit that also involved a persecutor and a victim.
    To both the abuser and the abused, this kind of behavior seems normal even though neither one of them enjoys (most of the time) being engaged in this type of relationship. They do it because it is normal for them, and as much as they dislike it, it is comfortable, and they are not aware of what they are doing to perpetuate this type of cycle.
    In some cases, the abuser is so good at convincing the victim that everything is their fault, that the victim goes back out of guilt, even though they have discussed the scenario several times with others and have been reassured that they are not to blame for standing up to their persecutor. Other times, the persecutor is so good at putting on a charismatic front that the victim doubts what they know to be wrong, thinking things like ” Everybody loves him. it must be something I am doing to MAKE him act this way.”
    Talking about it again and again is sometimes the victims way of confirming that this behavior IS wrong, and needs to be changed….even if they don’t have the strength to change it at that moment.

    • InnovaTonic

      I am sorry to hear that you actually had to go through all that. Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best!

    • Therez

      I forget where the quote originally came from, but I heard it myself in my psych class on attachment theory way back in the day – “One’s teeth fit the other’s wounds” – and it really rings true when looking at the dynamics of any relationship. Often, when a person is in an abusive relationship, you’ll see that in their past they’ve been in several, and perhaps even experience similar abuse during childhood.

      I’m not really trying to blame the victim – who really has a choice over who their parents are anyway – but it should still lead to at least some introspection on the part of the abused. Feeling helpless and consequently putting themselves in situations where they can continue to feel that way simply because they’ve never known better is not going to lead to a good life.