Nice Guys vs Bad Boys vs Gentlemen

Dec 12, 2012 by

Nice Guys vs Bad Boys vs Gentlemen

I think that these categories are constantly being confused by people – mostly girls.

Nice guys are not the same as bad boys (I am only using this phrase because most people know what it means and I don’t have to explain myself any further) and those two are entirely different from the gentleman. They are all single, separate categories that have their own characteristics and in this article I want to show that the best type is the gentleman type.

Let’s talk about all of them one by one.

What does it mean to be a nice guy? Does it mean that one is nice to everyone INCLUDING women and that attitude just comes out of one’s heart without having any expectations in return? Well there are times when it is true but those are rare exceptions.

MOST of the times these so called nice guys are simply nice to women because they expect something in return which is sex. They are simply scared to show their true feelings.

Now that their game is broken down into a diagram we can see that the attitude of being nice does NOT come from their heart. It is NOT genuine. Some girls, very few, fall for this either because they are tiered of bad boys or they feel appreciated.

This feeling of appreciation quickly disappears as the time goes by because they do not feel the masculine presence in their relationship. Being nice can only last for so long but women are evolutionarily designed to feel security and comfort when being with their partner. Nice guys lack confidence and it ruins their relationships.

Now let us talk about the bad boys. How are they bad and why do women fall for this type more often than they fall for the nice guy type?

Bad boys are confident, more spontaneous and more extroverted. They know their value and so they don’t put girls on a pedestal. This alone makes them extremely attractive to the opposite sex.

In this case honesty once again is not very transparent because most times guys will confess fake feelings just to get what they want. This however is MUCH better than the technique the nice guy uses because a bad boy will not waste his time if he realizes that the girl does not reciprocate. Nice guys don’t get those signals because they don’t know what those signals are due to lack of experience.

Now my opinion after all these years is that the gentleman type is the best one out there (by the way I am not saying that one HAS to apply himself/herself to a group I am just saying that when we categorize people we are BOUND to fall into a certain group whether we want to or not).

Gentleman type could be thought of as the hybrid of the nice guys and the bad boys but on a much more honest and genuine level. Here is what I mean.

A gentleman does not have any convoluted, circuitous, dishonest ways of luring the girl into the bedroom. He is honest with himself and with everyone around him. If he wants something he goes after it. This applies to the opposite sex as well.

When a gentleman wants to be in a relationship he makes it clear for the girl that he has strong feelings for her. If he does not have feelings and only looks for pleasure then he makes that clear as well.

Gentleman type is confident, spontaneous, extroverted but also humble, controlled, thoughtful and GENUINELY nice.

A gentleman has BEEN a nice guy and then turned into a bad boy but now he is a new breed of a man.

Chivalry is not dead ladies it is just evolving.

Stay tuned for more articles.

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  • So I guess the saying is somewhat true: "Nice guys finish last." Because like you said, it takes more than being "nice" to win or finish first place. Nice guys don't have that confidence that a gentlemen do to push pass their failures and become the man they have the potential to be.

    • (excuse the typo…should just say: that gentlemen do)

    • @Crystolyn: Exactly! They have the potential but lack confidence. Now here is another thing – there are times when nice guys gain confidence for whatever reason and when THAT happens most of the time they turn into bad boys.

      This is because they have never experienced confidence before. It grows exponentially and turns into arrogance. Some of them are able to overcome arrogance and quickly move on to the next step.

      The next step is the gentleman which I think is the most evolved type of the man who saw everything and experienced life as it is.

      • I agree! I'm blessed to have a gentleman as a husband :-)

        • InnovaTonic

          It takes time but it is worth it, wish you guys all the best :)

  • I have yet to meet a true gentleman. Some of the “nice guys” are really good at feigning the art of being a gentleman, but those guys are usually mentally ill. To be honest, it could be me that is the problem. I could be searching for the wrong traits in a man. I cherish honesty, and the last “gentleman” I had prided himself on being “brutally honest”…problem was, he was a liar when it counted the most, because he was so worried about his reputation of being a “gentleman” that he couldn’t admit to being wrong in any way even if he was caught red-handed. Before our breakup, he convinced me that every man feels the same way about everything, and that I would be wasting my time trying to find someone that genuinely cares for me. What do you think? Is that true? Are all men completely incapable of genuine feelings? Is it really all just about sex in the end? Someone please tell me he was wrong about that.

    • innovatonic

      Sorry to hear that. As I said some guys when they get confident it gets the best of them. It turns into arrogance/big ego.

      As an answer to your question I DON’T think it is all about sex in the end IF and only IF the guy has genuine feelings AND seen many others in his life (meaning it is not just infatuation).

      Those are the main factors and I wish you all the best :)

    • Anita

      Woah. How can you call that guy a gentleman? He sounds like a db, seriously.How could he convince you that every man feels the same way? Every single person is different, so that’s entirely ludicrous from the get go, and if he doesn’t see that then he’s obviously quite blind.

      If you’re looking for something that would make you happy once you found it, then there’s no possible way you could be wasting your time searching. Another no brainer.

      And how is any of this even remotely related to sex? Sounds like you unfortunately ran into a brain damaged fool hiding behind a front, who desperately tried to rope you into carrying some of his baggage. Nothing sexy about that at all.

  • JTomlinson

    I don’t know about this post. I’ve known several guys that are just nice without wanting anything in return… it’s what we call ‘friends’. I also don’t believe that ‘gentlemen’ have necessarily been ‘bad boys’ at some point in their lives, again I’ve known a lot of guys that haven’t been bad boys, jerks, your version of a ‘nice guy’, just good men. I think you made a lot of assumptions in this post that everybody is a certain way, but I really don’t think it’s true.

    Thanks for the post.

    • Please understand that I am showing the extremes in order to make my point. The good men that you are speaking of have gone through the same transformation just on different levels. People are different, but transformation is the same.

      The friends who are nice are the gentlemen because they are able to be friends with a girl and not just be friends with a reason in mind.

      Thank you for your reply.

  • Mia

    To honest with you nice guys are really boring in my opinion. That is not to say that I date only bad guys, but let’s just say that I been through that phase. A relationship has to stay fresh and exciting even after a long time and that’s not possible to attain with a nice guy. A bad guy has a better chance of becoming an ideal partner, but not by much. A gentleman however, now that’s a breed of men that is going extinct very quickly and I think most girls would agree to that.

    • Amy G

      Reminds me of my mom :) I usually don’t bring home guys I date until fairly late in the dating game (unless it’s inconvenient to avoid, like my parents invited us out or something) and she commented on a few of my choices over the years. She usually pays them some compliment, my mother never likes to say anything bad about anyone, and so when she says someone is “nice” that really means that there is nothing better to say about them. The boys she labeled as “nice guys” were not guys who were smart, funny, accomplished, interesting, or admirable in any other way besides not being total jerks for no reason :)

  • Neyrissa

    I don’t know if I agree with your classifications, but I’m a girl so maybe I’m just not meant to understand men, lol. From what you describe, I guess I’m out for a gentlemen, but really I’m out for much more than that. I like men for who they are more than how they treat me. I like a man who’s ambitious, driven, conscientious to his own goals and plans, and considerate of mine. I just like honest people with strong characters that they themselves can be comfortable with. Is that too much to ask?

    • InnovaTonic

      Please reread the entire article because you missed all of it – entirely.

      Nothing is too much to ask if you are willing to work for it.

      Simply asking for it is pointless.