When Two Leaders Meet

Dec 7, 2012 by

When Two Leaders Meet

Observing human behavior, reading the classics and experiencing certain things in my life I came to my final conclusion that there is only two types of people in this world. Followers and leaders – that’s all there is to it. Maybe they can branch out further but the point is that their first taxonomy is either followers or leaders.

Please keep in mind that when I say a leader I don’t mean a president I mean someone who has leadership qualities and same goes with the follower.

Now here are some funny things I have also noticed. When a follower meets a leader he or she recognizes their type either consciously or unconsciously (most of the time unconsciously). When the type is recognized then out of that the follower starts playing his or her role. They listen, obey, learn and respect the leader.

The best example and the simplest example could be considered kids in high schools. There is always a leader who is either physically larger, more developed mentally, or simply wiser for whatever reasons and he or she is considered the leader of the group. Other members of the group look up to that individual. Most of the time nobody even SPEAKS of them being the leader however deep down all the other members of the group know about it.

Leaders are rarer to find than followers and if not from experience then simply from common sense you should know that it is true.

Leaders are individuals and they don’t need a group to feel secure even though they don’t MIND being in a group. The difference is that they don’t OBEY the rules of that group because they know that they are unique. They know that those rules are artificial and that they don’t need to prove themselves to anyone.

Leaders exude confidence and intelligence. They know how to take control of the situation and bend it down to their will. They always need to be respected by others because they KNOW they have done things in their life which are difficult to achieve.

What happens when two leaders meet? Can they be friends? Let’s look into it.

When two leaders meet from the FIRST point on they realize who the other one is. When that happens either both of them become defensive or they become curious. They realize the threat or the quality of the person and recognize that it is not just another follower.

When I say defensive I don’t mean that they are ready to fight each other (even though in some cases it is true) what I mean is they are defensive of their “leader title”. There are times when one leader takes over another leader (mostly when an argument is won) and that leader now becomes a follower because he/she has been broken.

This first case mostly happens when both leaders have aggressive personalities.

When they are calmer they become curious of the other and want to get to know them. They become interested in the other’s quality and experience. In this case even though they are curious they are still cautious because they know there could be a threat.

If they realize that the other leader is not trying to take over then caution disappears and after that if both of them have equal amount of respect for each other than a wonderful, amazing type of friendship could blossom. If there is no respect or lack of respect from either party THAN caution will come back and curiosity will turn into defensiveness.

Bottom line is that it takes a lot of patience, energy, understanding and RESPECT for two leaders to be able to have a healthy and long-lasting friendship.

This is so fascinating to write about because it shows the similarities between us and the animal kingdom and how evolution is a nifty, amazing, unique engine which made life come about.

If for some reason you felt offended by this article then I genuinely apologize. I just keep things real because that is the only way I can write what comes out of my heart, faking would defeat the purpose of this website.
Stay tuned for more articles!

  • George

    Amazing article great skills i really like your way of thinking there are three essentials to leadership: humility, clarity and courage absence of that makes them follower, this is the reason i am following your blog right now. :)

    • I appreciate the kind words and thank you so much for following :)

  • JTomlinson

    You said that leaders don’t need a group to feel secure, but I don’t know that that’s true. I consider myself a leader, and yet there is always safety in numbers. I would rather be with my family and friends than alone. Leader doesn’t translate directly to loaner. True, some leaders may be loaners, but I doubt that the majority are, because it’s human nature to want to be with other people.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Of course we are powerful when we are united, and indeed it is in our nature to be with other people. However I never said anywhere in the article or suggested in any way that leader directly translates to a loaner.

      My point is as follows: Many people are in groups in order to feel secure and they obey the rules of the group. A leader is not bound by those rules he/she is only in a certain group because he/she likes the group.

  • Dan

    It is often evident that there is quite a lot of tension between two leaders, especially if they stand for different things. One example of course being the elections, in which each party has their own sets of beliefs of what is acceptable and wrong, and it is not uncommon for there to be quite a lot of conflict between parties. However, maybe in the future, we as people will develop to be respectful to each other as leaders, and potentially spread the peace globally.

    • I know one thing and that is truth is singular. Of course there are many controversial ideas but if we REALLY become sincere with ourselves and only accept what we know and what is true, trust me that most of the conflicts will vanish. A leader seeks the truth without being bound by personal bias or beliefs.

      So you are absolutely correct. I hope that we all evolve to a point where our gains are global rather than individualistic.

  • I have honestly been both a leader and a follower. In high-school I had friends that would literally ask me permission to use the bathroom, and I always tried to be a good leader. However, I think even back then I desperately wanted guidance, and I was only a leader because I was sort-of force thrust into the position, and I felt it was my responsibility to give guidance to those who were seeking it from me.

    Oddly enough, I am not comfortable in either position. I have met many people on both sides of the spectrum, and in my opinion, good leaders without aggressive personalties are almost non-existent. This of course makes me want to steal their position, but the follower in me doesn’t want the conflict that would ensue from making the attempt.

    I have learned to balance it out by switching roles as I see the need for either a leader or a follower. This leaves me questioning my own identity at times, but it is the only place in society that I feel comfortable…as a shape-shifter.

    Sometimes it leaves me feeling as though I am pretending my way through life, but I would rather view it as responding to my surroundings in the most productive way that I can. Doing this can require a little acting, but in all honesty, everyone does a little bit of acting on a daily basis, whether they choose to accept it or not.

    One of my biggest wishes for this world is to see more assertive leadership, and more educated followers.